Corners

Time filters through the sieve of life;
Sunlight patches on the table melt away
leaving dusty books and air, reminder of the passed moments.

Warmth pervades, touching skin, reaching in
as sunlight lays heavily upon the chest
reminding, too, of earlier days.

Eyes close, recalling feelings that once were present but now past;
Reveling, wondering, doubting, grieving.
And time filters through the sieve of life.

A New, Old Post

I've been demoted. Or have I?

I have determined to eliminate most of my out-of-the-home activities, at least for a semester. The closets, the drawers, the shelves... my pantry, my cupboards, my desk... school, chores, house projects...

Everything here at home is clamoring for attention. Actually, it is desperately pleading with me for some undivided energy and creative investment.

And did I mention Liana, Jessica, Camilla, and Merrick?... Jamie, Julia, Louissa?... and dear, patient Rick? How about the others?... Carson, Josh, Johnny?... Kara and Song?

They need me, too. And that is not exaggeration. I am needed here. So...

... here I will be. Gladly!

I Love This

Tender mercies. Kindness. Humility. Forgiving.

I love my Jesus so very much. Don't you love that He calls us to be tender? Isn't the way He chooses for us to live beautiful?

Just For Me!

A new computer. All mine. I will put a sticker on it or something so it is readily identified.

It's a big deal because I've never bought a computer just for me. I've had hand-me-downs (very gratefully) and rejects (I've gladly used them) but this one is brand new, just for me. I will set up my very own name and password, etc.

Well, just because I don't know what I'm doing doesn't mean I can't be excited, does it? It doesn't seem to hinder others!

Mama's Dancing Again!

Tap To Toe. A dance school in Massena.

I am educating young ladies this year -- several of them. So dance seemed essential to this mother who, years ago, dubbed her home school The Sinclair Academy of Fine Arts (with wonderful academics on the side, of course.)

A few weeks back a daughter and I headed to Massena to register four girls in ballet, jazz, and lyrical classes. So, I reasoned, why not sign up myself as well? I will pass on the performance at the end of the semester (dancing up there with high school and young adult girls seemed a bit much, even for this cockeyed optimist) but the instructor was most encouraging about my participation. I will learn everything with the other dancers, but will not be worked into the formations. Easy! This way I will learn new combinations and keep in shape and, as my honey said to me just now, "Stay agile!"

Last week I ordered a black tank leotard times five, pink tights x5, pink canvas ballet shoes and tan jazz shoes. They arrived today, and I could hardly wait to put them on! Plies, kicks, and twirls were automatic. What else can you do but dance when pink tights and leotards are donned?

Yup. Off to dance again. This is beginning to look like a life-long habit. What a vice!

Birthday Season Around Here

Today is a shared birthday in our family:

my dad and my grandson made their grand appearances on September 15.

The first in 1928, the second in 2006 (right, Danica?) How special! Seventy-eight years later...

I don't know why, but I think that is really special. I love shared birthdays. Rick, my husband, shared his birthday with his own father. How much better does it get than that?

Today we also will celebrate two other September births:

Bri (Sept. 6, 1982) and Brey (Sept. 13, 2007). Isn't our God so very good at making special people, special lives, special gifts to families?

This is a heart-warming day for me.

My Old Friend Found in Song

As my heart grapples with the pain of grief, and the reality of time passing and sin encroaching on happiness, I find help in a very old companion - a hymnal.

"When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'er flow;
For I will be near thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress."

When He calls me to something difficult, I need not concern myself with the outcome; it is in His keeping. My portion is to pray fervently for those in need. Fortunately my well-being is provided, absolutely assured. The lost are in need of my prayer and I can know that He is listening and moving accordingly.

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

My grief is real and it is known. He will lead to a joyful end. He will order and provide. He knows my concern, hears my prayer, loves more faithfully than I do the lost.

Did we in our own strength confide,
Our striving would be losing,
Were not the right man on our side,
The man of God's own choosing.
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is he;
Lord Sabaoth his name,
From age to age the same,
And he must win the battle.

We war against principalities and powers; our enemies are real. And we do not hold the key, He does. It is not our wisdom, our strength, our cunning, our "rightness", but Him. His great mercies will prevail, His justice will reign, His arm is not too short, His love is never ending. I will hope in Him.

Once to every man and nation
Comes the moment to decide,
In the strife of truth with falsehood,
For the good or evil side.
Some great cause, God's new messiah,
Offering each the bloom or blight,
And the choice goes by forever
'Twixt that darkness and that light.

Oh, God of infinite mercy, move on their hearts. Break through bonds and chains that hold them in captivity. Free them from the enemy's wicked and hateful schemes. Open their eyes and ears and let them know the truth. Let them sense your love and mercy and see the good and evil sides. Let them choose wisdom and eternal truth. May they know salvation in Jesus Christ, forever. Amen.

Julia Junkie?

What's wrong with this picture:

Tonight Rick's taking me to Canton Theater for a third viewing of Julie and Julia.

First time with a daughter.
Second with three daughters, an adopted daughter, and four friends.
Third time's a charm, with my honey on my arm -- (or so the saying goes...)

I submit to you:
There is nothing wrong with this picture. Just classic Meryl Streep/Julia junkieism.

Whatever could be wrong with that?

The Next Thing

When your heart is heavy, doing the simple things works best. This is probably not the peak time of creativity or decisiveness. As Elizabeth Elliot was known to suggest during times of trial, "Do the next thing."

So today a freezer was defrosted and cleaned. Tucked away I discovered a bag of precooked stew meat, seasoned with garlic and soy sauce. Also a bag of frozen, peeled bananas. And then there was the cherry pie. These items were set aside, left to continue defrosting, earmarked for the evening meal. Check that chore from the list requiring a creative decision. "Thank You, Lord."

Dishes were washed and dried with little or no thought required.

A stroll through the yard with my honey found us leaning on one another for added strength, reflecting on how a devastating situation had left us with crushed hearts, depleted emotions. God will come through, no doubt, but this is hard.

Back in the kitchen I rummage through the drawer and pull out the skillet; I begin sauteing whatever happens to be in the fridge. Adding the meat, some corn starch, extra soy sauce and sherry, and I step back and all but pronounce a verbal "Voila!" -- the main dish is complete. Brown rice stirred into the pot of water will round out the meal, along with freshly baked banana bread. And, of course, that warm cherry pie.

Basic. Simple. And almost over. Some days need to be that way.

Some days you just "do the next thing."

Cross Cultural

The Word of God is absolute. No budging. No changing. No vacillating.

How wonderful.

This is my story,
This is my song -
Praising my Savior

All the day long.

Gray Skies Persist

Stormy weather. So many waves on so many fronts. This is a tough season.

But "with Jesus in the boat..."

I hope you all know that ol' song. It's a good one.

Progress?

Breakfast dishes done, Bach in the front room, work-out CD in family room, chores discussed and scheduled...

We're inching toward routine. Inching, but moving.
*sigh*
This used to be much easier... ;)

Peace For Me

Attending an estate auction with friends, weeding a way-out-of-control garden, stirring a creative concoction of veggies with garlic and butter -- these simple activities are a welcome respite these days. Far from ho-hum, they are instead balm for my soul, a bit of a retreat. I am thankful for such quiet activities.

But in between these moments of peace there are storms around me and within me. Jesus speaks, "Peace!" to such inner-turbulence, reminding me that my peace is not dependent on circumstance.

And these days, that is good to know.