Thursday, May 18, 2006

Full Hearts

Some seasons are filled with emotional extremes, your heart fluctuating between ecstasy and agony.

Last night my heart felt ready to break, it was so full of sadness and pain. Situations had arisen that were not pleasant -- crushing and disheartening, in fact. The ache was acute and there was nothing to do but pray. Peace was found, but the ache continued. Sometimes it is just like that. Sometimes a swollen, broken heart just needs time to recover.

This afternoon I looked out my back window and saw my daughter Danica donning garden gloves and plowing through the overgrown perennials, yanking out weeds in her stead. Instantly my heart was ready to burst, this time with effusive joy! Warm and tender memories of working side by side in years past flooded my soul, enhanced with the pleasure afforded by a tidy, straight garden border and clumps of orderly plantings. Ahh...! Pure delight. I could smell the soil covered roots, feel the sweat rolling down her back and the weariness of that same back bending over again and again. Wonderful!

I marvelled at how swollen my heart was once again. And it is still recovering from such ardent, wistful pleasure.

And in all these things, I will give Him praise.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you stand it? You must be so proud of all your children..thankful for all they have allowed God to do in their lives. Sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of shaping so many little lives, I just think about His power and greatness. I'm not capable, yet He is. When the gravity of the situation seems too much to handle, I remember that as long as I'm willing, He's there. He works. Often I cry out to him and ask for help with these little ones, for their training, teaching, and help with exactly how to love them, before I even finish uttering the request, He is granting it. I know all this, yet times like last night help to encourage me to keep asking. Keep seeking. Keep trusting. Every once in awhile it gets a bit crazy around here (and I'm sure you don't even understand that one little bit!) Especially when mom is unprepared. Like I was this morning. YET, I remember what you wrote about reaping. When that season for me comes, I want it to look a lot like yours. So, again I can you stand it? You must be praising His name more than ever! I know I am.

8:48 AM  

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